Nothing, absolutely nothing, that I had experienced to date could have prepared me for what I was about to experience. Almost like a “social experiment” with an unparalleled introspective magnitude. 10 days in total silence, 10 hours of meditation a day, 2 meals a day (breakfast and lunch). 150 people on a retreat somewhere in the world.
So “isolated” that this feeling carries over to the (non) interaction between the students. Not a single “good morning” or “how are you today?”. Not a single exchange of glances or smiles.
The day before, I woke up with many doubts about whether or not I should go. Whether it would be best for me. I spent the day feeling less positive about going. Whether it would make sense at this moment to isolate myself and my mind for more than 100 hours of meditation in 10 days.
In the end, I ignored all these last-minute doubts and decided to go. A mistake. A huge mistake. Little did I know what I was deciding to do to myself. Nothing, nothing prepared me for this.
more to come in the coming days.
